This is the year when I will look in my own personal library and read all those books I’ve been wanting to and meaning to read. This is just a tentative framework because I realized not all my books are moved yet and I still want to add a plain ol’ fiction category and a reread category. *rubs hands in glee* I can’t wait to get started….
classic christian non fiction
A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliott
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
The Journals of Jim Elliott by Elisabeth Elliott
Imitation of Christ by Thomas A Kempis
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
christian non fiction
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
Hearing God by Dallas Willard
The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge
Lessons I Learned In The Dark by Jennifer Rothschild
Margin by Richard Swenson
Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Kevin Leman
Boundaries with Kids by Cloud and Townsend
The 5 Love Languages of Kids by Chapman and Campbell
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
Girl Meets God by Lauren F. Winner
Falling In Love With Jesus by Kathy Troccoli & Dee Brestin
On Writing by Stephen King
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl
Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein
Emily of New Moon by L.M. Montgomery
Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
Archive for December, 2005
I looked it up. Auld land syne is scottish for good old days or time remembered with fondness. Do I look back at 2005 fondly? I can’t really say that 2005 has been a good year. If you look at it with bald face statistics it has been pretty crappy.
I spent the first 2 months of ’05 trying to keep my marriage together then found out that it was all for naught. My husband had been having an affair anyway while telling me he wanted to work on his marriage and going to counseling with me. I had a life threatening blood clot in my lung and was in the hospital in March. In May the man I thought was the love of my life decided our marriage wasn’t worth working on and moved out anyway. The summer was a respite, it wasn’t easy financially, but it was peaceful compared to the early and later months. Then in August Jonathan started first grade and also started having more problems in school. We discovered that he had Asperger’s Syndrome and that his dad was living with his girlfriend after telling all of us that he had been living with his mom. In November I finally got the courage up to pull the bandaid off and I filed for divorce, 6 months to the day after my husband left me yet I was the one that was told that I had betrayed him.
No, it was a good year.
But, yes, I do look back at it fondly despite all that because I’ve grown wiser and stronger. I’m closer to God than I ever was before. I think I’ve come out of this time of refining a better person. I don’t think I passed every testing with flying colors, but I’ve learned a lesson each and every time and that has truly made me grow.
Also I’m 260 lbs lighter than I was this time last year. Sixty lbs are lbs I lost and 200 lbs are the dead weight that I am now officially “provisionally” divorced from.
So I shall always look back at 2005 as the year…
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor 4:7-9 NIV) and
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.
(Isaiah 43:1-3) and
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
* endless games of SORRY where only one person can win no matter how much you cry or scream or kick or yell or…you get the idea
* trying to explain exactly what the boy penguin and the girl penguin are doing in the March of the Penguins to make a baby penguin
* the carols of Pikman 2 playing in the background constantly
* calls of, “I’m hungry,” five minutes after you’ve eaten dinner
* cuddling on the couch to watch The Polar Express
* reading books together
* threatening to throw the Gamecube away if I hear one more fight break out
* threatening to throw myself in front of the train if they run in the apartment again…wait, they might like that?!
* threatening to take…insert toy here…if they fight over it again
* hearing one of the munchkins say, “I love you, mommy.”
I guess I’ll make it till January 9th. Maybe.
free to a good home two highly intelligent angelic children *crosses fingers behind back* who are hardly ever prone to temper tantrums, who never fight and who always clean their room. i.e. <strong>When will Christmas break be over?!
***special note: no children where injured in the writing of this blog although their mother is taking highest dose of aleve allowed chased with diet coke
Praise You In This Storm
by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”
and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
More on the theme for 2006 this week, I’m working on organizing the detritus of having Christmas and a move happen in the same month. And my theme for 2006 has nothing to do with organization. LOL
In the spirit of Christmas here is a Christmas greeting with my munchkins in a scared santa photo – op. I realized after the picture that Jonathan had peed his pants. And Anna was having a mild panic attack about talking to him at all. I told her she didn’t have to talk to him today but she was going to have to talk to him Friday when he was at her school. So…
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!!!!!!
I guess I’ve grown a smidge.
Did you know there are two basic schools of thoughts on charity?
One is “I’m too proud to accept charity and you should be too proud too.”
The other is “Your hands are God’s hands blessing me.”
My ex told me this week that it makes him look bad because people are giving the kids gifts. I kept my mouth shut. Then he said that people are saying it makes me look bad because people are giving the kids gifts. I had to understand that one. I forgot that I was talking to someone who doesn’t even try to talk to God or understand the ways of God.
After hearing that “they” (i.e. his friends) said I just lazy and trying to milk the system and feeling the pain of those words the LIGHT shown down. What was the truth?
1. I am terribly proud.
2. I hate to ask for help.
3. I have learned hard lessons this year that pride is not a good thing.
4. God has met our families needs in ways I could not even imagine without the help of a man who thinks it makes him look bad when he left us he stepped out as my provider. He is still responsible for his children, but he is not our provider.
5. God wants to bless his children.
6. The world won’t understand God’s ways and they’ll call me crazy. Call me Noah. I don’t care. This won’t be the first time. I will walk by faith even when I cannot see because this broken road prepares your will for me.
This is just one of the many lessons I’v learned over this hard broken road of a year. I will accept sweet charity and I will hold my head high and thank the Lord for what He had given me AND for what he has taken away because that is what he requires of me.
There are times in my life when I flounder wondering who I am in Christ. There are days when my self worth is about  that big. Especially on days when your children rave about the other woman in your ex husbands life about how great she is and about what wonderful presents she gives and about how pretty she is. And I keep reaching for something to remind me about who I am.
I don’t need to put her down even to remember that I am a daughter of the king and that the king is captivated by my beauty. But it is hard. And it has been a hard year.
There are times when you wish the devil didn’t know the buttons to push on the back of you head like Mark Hall from Casting Crown says. There are times when you wish there was a bag of chips and french onion dip calling your name. Times when you didn’t feel like drowning your sorrows in food instead of running to the comfort of the father. Abba, father.
Who am I? In the grand scheme of things I really am nothing, but in the heavenly scheme of things other woman or not…I am His. I am called. I am an adopted daughter of the King. I am a princess. I am the crown of creation. And when my heart fails within me I know that He is my portion. And He never changes. Always and forever.
And I may not have glossy brown hair and be a cute petite latino blankity blank, but I am a tall sexthy hot mama with legs up to my neck and big blue eyes. So take that…oops. That was my flesh talking there for a second.
THIS is the picture I should have posted when I said I was still pretty cute for 30 something. I think I’m one hot mama for all the carp I’ve been through this year and I definitely need to get contacts again….
I was and still am a brain/nerd/geek whatever you want to call it and am proud of it. Brain power!!!!
In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab.
You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you’re a total success!