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Archive for May, 2008


Saturday, May 24th, 2008

I leave you comments on MySpace all the time, so you would think writing this letter would come easy. Heck! It was my idea for people to write you letters and send them to your dad. Still, I have found it pretty near impossible to stop, breathe, and write this. But, here I am. Tuesday morning. My youngest is watching “All Dogs go to Heaven.” Are there dogs there? I have lots of silly questions like that. Is Jesus a good dancer? Do you have your own library?
Sometimes, it just hits me that you are gone. Like, I will be reading or having a conversation, and the knowledge will show up, uninvited. “Nat is Gone.” And it is so starkly real against this life that seems so hazy sometimes, that I have to stop. A punch in the gut. I remind myself to breathe again. The knowing is so painful. I am glad when it fades again, when I can slip back into the day.
But I don’t want to lose you. I am afraid if I don’t hang on to your memory, if I don’t wrestle it to the page, it will be gone. You will be gone.
I miss you.

“thankful thursday”

Saturday, May 24th, 2008

(Originally published by Nattie on May 24, 2007)
I know people think I’m crazy. I have cancer, but I have oodles of things to be thankful for.

  1. My mom is here doing all my laundry. lol We joke that I got cancer so I wouldn’t have to do housework. It is all part of my evil plan. bwahahahaha
  2. I’ve got great friends and family. Really. I can’t describe the outpouring of love and help I’ve gotten from them.
  3. I have cute new fuzzy flip flops to wear around the house.
  4. I have new pjs to wear post op.
  5. I can move my laptop and sit in my comfy chair so I can be online a little longer.
  6. My ipod. Last night I couldn’t sleep so I listened to an audio book.
  7. Even though I can’t handle any “hardy” reading right now…I have oodles of “friends” (i.e. old books) that I can reread.
  8. I am allowed to eat as much ice cream as I want. Never mind that I can only eat half a cup. I can eat ice cream whenever I want. The only time I was allowed to do that before was when I had my tonsils out.
  9. When people come visit and ask what I want I can say, “Ice cream” and not feel guilty.
  10. The most important thing of all is that God is by my side through this all. I don’t know how people handle tragedy without their Heavenly Father. I know I couldn’t and for this I am very thankful.

Copyright Natalie Rose York
(One year ago today, Natalie made these words the last posted directly to her blog. Later that day she checked in to the hospital…well, you know the rest. How do you say…”le snif”?)

“Wordless Wednesday”

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

(Originally published by Nattie on May 23, 2007)
Copyright Natalie Rose York

“Team Nattie” update

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

Thanks to Maria, Amy and her mother, Sara, Cynthia, Lesley and Anne, “Remembering Natalie Rose York” has already passed its initial goal. I think I’ll double it and send a letter to some corporate friends…


what i know part deux

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

(Originally published by Nattie on May 22, 2007)
I saw the oncologist today. He was very kind. It turns out he was my mother in laws oncologist when she had breast cancer 8 years ago. I already knew that my kind of cancer is rare or uncommon as he said in a woman this young. He also seconded that the way to treat this is remove it if possible.


Dearest Nattie,

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

I can’t believe you have left this earth almost a year ago. I know you are in a much better place. Sometimes I get jealous because I’m stuck in this body that betrays me almost daily. Cerebral Palsy sucks but I know God has a purpose for me. I still don’t know what it is but I will continue to sit and wait on the Lord. I so wish I could’ve had the chance to meet you on this side of heaven, since we knew each other online for at least five years. I was excited to know though that you got a front row seat at my wedding on July 7, 2007. On June 8th I will be celebrating another person’s birthday and life. She went to heaven only a few months before you from cancer as well. She truly has the voice of an angel. I’m sure you too have met already. The foundation her parents started in her name to help kids with cancer go to summer camp for a week is having a huge Christian concert on her birthday. They are having a lot of local bands and closing with Building 429. How awesome is that! So on that day I will be celebrating both of you. I can’t believe that I have been married almost a year already. Time truly does fly! I love you Nattie and I look forward to the day when I finally get to meet you on the other side of the sky!
Heather M. (now Roemer) from WAH

what i know

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

(Originally published by Nattie on May 21, 2007)
I don’t know a whole lot more yet about my cancer. But it is cancer. And it is not lymphoma like previously mentioned. It has a name. And I won’t put it up here because you’ll google it and get all the horrible statistics.
I’ve never liked statistics. I’ve never been a conformist (apparently this cancer is most common in non-american black men over the age of 65). I’ve always walked to the beat of my own drum. And I will continue to do that now.
I know who holds tomorrow. And He holds me in His hand.
Copyright Natalie Rose York

My favorite Christmas movies

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

(Originally published by Nattie on December 12, 2003)
Here are my favorite Christmas movies in no particular order. Some have sentimental value, some are just plain funny (like Clark Griswold in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” trying to plan the perfect family Christmas), and some do have some redeeming spiritual values.

Copyright Natalie Rose York

May reading

Monday, May 19th, 2008

My list is pitifully small right now, but I haven’t felt like reading much lately and what I am reading is rather light fare.
1. Spring Cleaning Murders by Dorothy Cannell
2. For Everything a Season by Philip Gulley
3. The Hanging in the Hotel by Simon Brett
4. Coming Home by Rosamunde Pilcher (reread)
5. Rainbow Valley by L.M. Montgomery (reread)
Copyright Natalie Rose York

“Team Nattie”

Monday, May 19th, 2008

I have formed a team — Remembering Natalie Rose York — for the Grant County (Indiana) Relay for Life in Marion on June 7, 2008. Anyone who wishes to participate, either locally or at a distance, may register at the team website. I set the goal low enough, I think, but will gladly raise it if need be.
I will apologize in advance for the generic appearance of this page. I am still working on some persoalizing changes, but the options are limited.
If you want a T-shirt, please donate at least $20.00. ($50.00 is requested, but I don’t want anyone to go hungry!) I will mail it to you on or about June 1. I should be able to get a list of donors’ names and addresses when I pick up the shirts, but it would help to have those in advance. Make your donations to the above link, then send your USMail addresses to me at the one address I have been able to count on lately: brownhound1 at yahoo dot com (that’s a Number One after the dog’s name).
Note that you can also purchase a luminaria for $10.00 and your own memorial to Natalie will be printed on it.
And don’t forget, if you want a “Letter to Nattie” posted here on her blogsite, I will do that through June 6. No charge.