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Holidays Shmolidays

(Originally published by Nattie on August 26, 2004)
Because of holidays past, I refuse to get up in a roar about the ensuing holidays. I feel like God is trying to tell me something. Let’s pretend that I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past and I’ll guide you through my past holidays (*warning it isn’t pretty):

1995–Single, living on my own, no money to buy gifts, hit an all-time low and considered being an escort (Yes, I was offered the job, but thank God I turned it down).
1996–Single, moved cross country, miss my family
1997–Single, pregnant and hiding the fact from my family
1998–Actually a pretty good Christmas. My first Christmas as a mommy and a wife.
1999–Pregnant again. It was planned. I’m married. Life is good, right? No, I am on the rollercoaster of trying to keep the baby and not miscarry it.
2000–Have undiagnosed Post Partum Depression. Can’t figure out why I don’t want to leave the house and cry non-stop. My husband had also been off work for weeks for a broken elbow. So again we had little to no money for gifts.
2001–In the hospital for suicidal ideation a weak before.
2002–Break my ankle. My aunt dies.
2003–no plans, no expectations, only gratitude that God is God and I am not.
I used to love the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. I loved seeing the malls decked out in evergreen and twinkling lights. I love the music. I was always my holiday because my birthday is 10 days before. But I’m realizing more and more that I’ve had the wrong idea about the holidays. I refuse to worry about gifts I don’t have the money to buy. I refuse to worry about what we’ll eat. Instead I will relax and enjoy seeing my family and friends. I will be grateful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and my family that still loves me even though I’m decidedly nutty. But most of all I will be thankful that God came down. God sent his Son to earth to cover the sins of the world. God came down to save…me, and you, and you…
That is what it is all about.
Copyright Natalie Rose York

3 Responses to “Holidays Shmolidays”

  1. Heather Says:

    I can’t believe it has been almost a year. Feels less and more at the same time.
    Maybe at the one year mark, some of us could send you letters to Nat that you could post for her blog?
    I miss her.

  2. Nattie's Daddy Says:

    Heather–I know exactly what you mean…
    And I would be glad to post letters to Nattie from her friends. Thank you for a great idea.˜

  3. Nattie's Mom Says:

    Thanks for the idea Heather. Would love to here from her friends. I hope to be in Indiana that week to walk with my sister and niece in memory of Natalie at Relay for Life. I miss her very much, too.

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