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Auld lang syne 2005

(Originally published by Nattie on December 31, 2005)
I looked it up. “Auld land syne” is Scottish for good old days or time remembered with fondness. Do I look back at 2005 fondly? I can’t really say that 2005 has been a good year. If you look at it with bald- faced statistics it has been pretty crappy.

I spent the first two months of ’05 trying to keep my marriage together then found out that it was all for naught. My husband had been having an affair anyway while telling me he wanted to work on his marriage and going to counseling with me. I had a life-threatening blood clot in my lung and was in the hospital in March. In May the man I thought was the love of my life decided our marriage wasn’t worth working on and moved out anyway. The summer was a respite, it wasn’t easy financially, but it was peaceful compared to the early and later months. Then in August Jonathan started first grade and also started having more problems in school. We discovered that he had Asperger’s Syndrome and that his dad was living with his girlfriend after telling all of us that he had been living with his mom. In November I finally got the courage up to pull the bandaid off and I filed for divorce, six months to the day after my husband left me yet I was the one that was told that I had betrayed him.
No, it was a good year.
But, yes, I do look back at it fondly despite all that because I’ve grown wiser and stronger. I’m closer to God than I ever was before. I think I’ve come out of this time of refining a better person. I don’t think I passed every testing with flying colors, but I’ve learned a lesson each and every time and that has truly made me grow.
Also I’m 260 lbs lighter than I was this time last year. Sixty lbs are lbs I lost and 200 lbs are the dead weight that I am now officially “provisionally” divorced from.
So I shall always look back at 2005 as the year…

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor 4:7-9 NIV)
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.
(Isaiah 43:1-3)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Copyright Natalie Rose York

One Response to “Auld lang syne 2005”

  1. Heather Says:

    This post is a perfect picture of Natalie.

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